A parent’s guide to managing temper tantrum
Raising a child can bring a number of challenges and obstacles your way, one challenge that all parents face is dealing with your child’s temper tantrums. Most children typically begin to have tantrums when they’re a toddler, around 18-24 months. According to Babycentre babies as young as 9 months can also being to have tantrums.
Tantrums are triggered by feelings and emotional states which your child is unable to properly explain such as frustration, exhaustion, fear or hunger (those moments when your child says they’re starving). Sometimes the parent can add to the growth of a tantrum by not understanding what your child wants in the moment and as a result of the miscommunication, your child will express their frustration about being misunderstood. The length of tantrum itself can vary, it can be a short-lived burst of fury or it could be brewing for a few hours. Regardless of how long it lasts your child’s tantrum behaviour will be consistent throughout their childhood.
Examples of behaviours observed during a tantrum can include:
- Throwing themselves on the floor
- Screaming
- Shouting
- Kicking
- Crying
- Breath-holding
In some cases, your child may take some of the above behaviours to the extreme and induce other physical responses such as raised heart-rate, vomiting, increased temperature and paleness or redness of the skin. This will naturally raise alarm and cause concern which is why it is important to stay calm and use caring approach towards your child when extreme physical responses are visible. If your child begins to rush or run around while having a tantrum it is vital to protect against accidents. Be mindful that the child is not in danger of crashing into furniture or pulling anything onto themselves in order to avoid injury to your child or others.
So, how to deal with tantrums?
When your child is in a tantrum it can be difficult to try to reason or negotiate in order to end the tantrum in the most simplest way possible. Here are a couple of tips and strategies which may help to manage your child’s tantrums more effectively.
Give your child space
Giving your child a bit of space while they’re having a tantrum by leaving the room for a few minutes can offer you both time and space to take a few deep breaths and calm down. Then you can return to your child feeling able to address the situation with a more rational and logical mind.
Use Distraction
It can be difficult to communicate with your child when they’re having a tantrum however one of the easiest tried and tested methods is a distraction.This allows you to encourage your child to change their current focus onto something else, for example, you could bring out their favourite toy, ask your child what that did at nursery or school, ask your child if they would like a drink or snack and so on. The key to distraction is to stay on topic until your child is much calmer.
Don’t Shout
It can be hard to keep your cool when your child is having a major meltdown however if you shout or raise your voice to your child this will only make them feel worse, which will make the tantrum seem more intense and prolonged. When speaking to your child it is important to use a calm and soothing tone of voice which will encourage your child to gradually feel calmer and more likely to tell you what has caused the upset.
Choose your word carefully
Be mindful of the words you use when speaking to your child as this can have the opposite effect in attempting to calm and soothe your child. By saying things like ‘stop it’, ‘you’re giving me a headache’, ‘behave’ or ‘shut up!’ this is only going to wind your child up even more thus throwing your child further into the tantrum.
When your child has finished having a tantrum they can feel rather tired and emotional, as tantrums can be both physically and emotionally draining for your child. This is when it’s important to reinforce the affection you have for your child by giving a hug and telling your child that you love them so that your child feels safe, secure and supported.